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“ is a great option for gay men,” said Metal from the gay male bondage website. And YouTube has a channel for everyone in the kink spectrum from gay to straight to trans to nonbinary and beyond!” If you’re a tad shy and work better online, these contingents have Facebook groups or FetLife pages you can join. It provided an easy way into the community, and it helped me meet new people, make new friends, and find trustworthy play partners.

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“When I was first getting started, I found a local leather contingent that held monthly bar nights and discussion groups that taught classes for kinksters at any level. “The leather scene is a diverse place with tons of outlets and avenues, depending on how you navigate your life and learn,” said Amp from Watts the Safeword ( ), a kink and sex-ed website and YouTube channel. But you don’t have to take my word for it… Because if you aren’t showing up in kink spaces - online or IRL - your fellow kinksters won’t be able to find or bind you. The adage applies to romantic/sexual success as well as professional success, SACK, but showing up easily accounts for 90 percent of success in the BDSM/leather/fetish scene. “Eighty percent of success is just showing up,” someone or other once said.

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How does one get into the gay BDSM bottoming and leather scene?

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